“When there is a hill to climb, don’t think waiting will make it smaller.”
H. Jackson Brown

This quote had been waiting for me to find it so it could pierce my heart. A couple weeks ago I made the decision to sell most of the equipment in the studio since I’m not going to be doing stationery any longer. And, when I decided that, I also gave myself until the end of the year to get rid of the inventory and the equipment. I don’t want to rush and I want to do it little by little. The thing is, it’s been about 2 months since I made that decision and there hasn’t been too much progress.

Before I even made the decision to stop re-stocking our inventory and getting rid of everything in the studio I was dreading the idea because there is so much stuff to do that is just overwhelming to think about it. I have also been waiting for the person that is buying some of the presses to schedule the specific date for pick up and we haven’t been able to settle on a date. So, there are many pieces that kind of need to fall into place for all of this to get done, some of which are out of my control but I also recognize that part of me has been waiting to officially get started so I can fully close this chapter.

Sometimes it feels funny because I’ve been talking about this for a long time yet in my day to day, the “old me”, the one that already moved on from stationery is still the one that is showing up and getting it done at the studio or in this blog, or on the podcast or anywhere else I go to and give my energy to. Because, even as I’m writing this, I’m showing up with the energy that was left over from the couple days of printing in the studio, packing orders and everything else that involves the world that I already decided I wanted to move on from.

So, this week when I read this quote I was reminded that the longer I wait to truly get started moving the energy in the space that has held this version of me, the faster I will get to embody the energy of the new me, the one that wants to transform the studio into a space to teach meditations and mindful creative classes, the one that wants to have meaningful conversations with other humans in this podcast in a beautiful studio setting.

I’m not quite sure why we get so afraid of change that we trick ourselves into narratives that will keep us in the same place. I’m writing this not to be hard on myself but because there has to be an objective observation of the situation in order to bring light and attention to an aspect of myself that has been calling for attention.

And, even thought I had originally given myself until the end of the year to sell all the physical objects and inventory I have to remind myself that I did this with the intention to remove the pressure to have to sell everything within just a few weeks. But, realistically I haven’t even started with 5% of the process. And, at this pace I’m going to end up facing the rush that I originally wanted to avoid.

So, this week this is a short post with a short story of something that has been going on for me but I hope it’s also a reminder for you that waiting to climb the hill is not going to make it smaller and if we have already committed or decided to climb it we better get ourselves ready and find a way to enjoy the process while we are at it.

love, Nat.